Saturday, December 18, 2010

Kidney recipient finds out donor is wife's lover

18, 2010

Man jailed, fined for attacking guard and threatening bystanders in angry rampage

By Khushwant Singh

A BUSINESSMAN with end-stage renal disease was saved from death by a kidney donation from a man who was a friend of his wife.

His gratitude turned to anger and depression when he found out about a month after the operation that the good Samaritan was actually his wife's lover.

Worse was to come.

The donor turned out to be the father of his four-year-old daughter, too.

According to documents tendered in court, the businessman was at work on Sept 1, 2008 when he got a call that his wife and his kidney donor were inside his Chiltern Park Condominium apartment in Serangoon Avenue 3.

The man - a wholesaler in soft drinks and alcoholic beverages - decided to confront them.

He was in his lorry, making deliveries with a driver. He told the driver to stop the deliveries and take him home. When the driver left, he took over the wheel.

At about 9.30pm, he drove the vehicle into a service road along the condominium, against the flow of traffic, and parked it also against the flow of traffic.

Police investigations showed that a condo security guard told him to park the lorry at a carpark nearby. The businessman said that as a resident, he could do what he liked.

Sensing that the man was drunk, the guard walked away, but the man chased him and punched his head.

Three young men who were inside the condominium came to the guard's aid. The businessman threatened to run them over with his lorry. He also threatened to use his lorry to hit a van driven by one of the men, which was at the time parked in the grounds.

The businessman returned to his lorry, drove three times round the road in front of the condominium lobby, colliding into railings and walls. He then crashed his lorry against the van till the van rolled down a slope before hitting a wall.

Yesterday, the 47-year-old businessman - who cannot be named because doing so would identify the daughter - pleaded guilty to the rampage and was jailed six months and fined $3,500.

When convicted two months ago, he had also pleaded guilty to refusing to provide a blood specimen for analysis at a hospital on Sept 2, 2008. He also admitted to threatening to punch a police officer in October 2008, and insulting another officer in May last year in separate incidents.

The Singaporean man - who is tall, slender and with lightish brown hair - is appealing against the sentence and is out on $15,000 bail.

In court yesterday, defence counsel Kertar Singh urged the court to 'temper justice with mercy'.

'All the offences have one common thread,' he said in his mitigation plea. 'They occurred due to our client's marriage problem.'

He said the man got married in 1998 and 'it was a love marriage'.

[As opposed to an arranged marriage?]

'The parties were compatible and they had a happy blissful married life for the next 10 odd years.' When the wife gave birth to a baby girl in 2006, 'their happiness seemed to be complete'.

The man had suffered from renal failure problems for a decade. At the start of 2008, his condition worsened. He underwent dialysis and was told he would need a kidney transplant.

He sought a living donor here and in India, and that was when his wife introduced him to a man whom she said was an 'old classmate' who was 'like a brother to her'.

The classmate was willing to donate a kidney and their blood groups matched. The businessman was very grateful and 'purely out of goodwill', offered to start a small business for the donor, said Mr Singh. This was a shop in Little India selling alcohol and beverages, the business he was himself in.

The transplant operation on July 29, 2008 went well. The donor was discharged in early August and the businessman one week later.

The donor went to stay in the couple's apartment to recuperate as his family was not aware he had donated a kidney, said the lawyer.

When the businessman went home, the donor was still there. While both men were recovering, the businessman noticed his wife was more concerned about her friend than in him, said Mr Singh. And when he returned to work soon after the discharge, the donor - who is married - continued to stay at his house.

'This incensed our client somewhat and he questioned his wife,' said Mr Singh. The couple quarrelled and the wife threatened to leave with their daughter. She eventually did this.

Mr Singh said that after she left, the businessman contacted her sister to find out where she was.

'It was at this stage that he learnt the bitter truth. He learnt that an illicit affair had been on going between (the donor) and his wife for the past many years.

'He also learnt that his wife could not leave (the donor) as he was the father of their child. Our client was devastated on hearing all this. Who would not be?'

The wife returned to the matrimonial home for a short period later but relations were very strained.

On the evening of Sept 1, the businessman received a telephone call from a neighbour's maid that his wife and the donor were in his home.

[Why was the neighhour's maid spying for him?]

'Nothing affronts the ego of a man more than being cuckolded and that in his own home and perhaps even in his own bed. The saddest aspect was that the perpetrator was the man who had saved his life,' said Mr Singh.

He said that while the man was in the lorry, 'he was thoroughly confused, shaken and in a dilemma'. This was when he picked up a bottle of whisky - he had been in the process of delivering soft drinks and alcoholic beverages - and 'gulped it down'.

The lawyer said that his client was heavily medicated then because of the recent transplant, and this combined badly with the whisky, and affected him.

Outside the courtroom, the man's elder brother, 58, said: 'If he goes to jail, he won't make it.'

Mr Singh had told the court that the businessman had just been hospitalised for pneumonia from Nov 30 to Dec 8 and 'his condition remains fragile'.

khush@sph.com.sg

[Man, this is going to make one great Bollywood drama! better than fiction. Interesting that the lover would be a compatible donor for the man. Perhaps at some DNA level, the woman has a preference for men of the same biological attributes?]

Dec 20, 2010 Update

'I wouldn't have accepted kidney if I knew it was from my wife's lover'

By Kimberly Spykerman

IF HE had known the kidney that gave him a new lease of life was donated by his wife's lover, he would never have accepted it.

'I said to her, if there's something going on between you two, tell me. I don't want his kidney, I can do with dialysis my whole life,' the 47-year-old told The Straits Times yesterday from his bed at Mount Elizabeth Hospital, where he has been warded for a pneumonia relapse.

'She told me no and insisted I take the kidney.'

The Singaporean businessman attacked a security guard and threatened bystanders while on a drunken rampage two years ago, after he learnt the kidney that saved his life came from his wife's lover.

The man had suffered from renal failure problems for a decade. At the start of 2008, his condition worsened. He underwent dialysis and was told he would need a kidney transplant.

His wife then introduced him to a man whom she said was an 'old classmate' who was 'like a brother to her'.

But he found out later that the donor was his wife's lover, and the father of his four-year-old daughter.

The man, who cannot be named to protect the identity of the child, was sentenced on Friday to six months' jail and fined $3,500. He is appealing against the sentence, and is out on $15,000 bail.

A day after the sentencing, he was taken to hospital after experiencing severe chest pains.

He had been warded earlier this month for pneumonia and had been discharged three days before his appearance in court.

Looking thin and frail, he said of the night of his rampage: 'I don't remember much.

'All I knew then was that the guy who is having an affair with my wife - his kidney is in my body.'

That pains him as much as the fact that the child he loves is not of his own flesh.

He found out about the affair in May last year - after his wife served him divorce papers - and there was a tussle over the custody of the child. He admitted, though, that his suspicions surfaced much earlier.

A DNA test showed that the kidney donor is the biological father of the child.

Tears welling up in his eyes, he recounted how he felt when he first saw the report.

'I broke down. When you sleep in the same bed from the time she is a little infant and you watch her walking, and falling down, how do you think it feels?'

He added that he still loved the little girl and wanted her back in his life.

'But the child cannot have two fathers. Either he walks away, or I walk away,' he said quietly.

He said he had already suspected before his operation in July 2008 that his wife was having an affair with the donor.

He claimed she had got rid of the phone and computer in their home so he could not track her calls and e-mail messages.

The two would also often go to clubs together and she would return only in the early hours of the morning, he said.

But his wife insisted in an earlier interview that she had not been in a relationship with the donor, and the child had been the result of a one-night stand with her former classmate.

The kidney recipient - a wholesaler in soft drinks and alcoholic beverages - had gone on a rampage in September 2008.

He was in his lorry, making deliveries with a driver when he got a call telling him the donor and his wife were at their matrimonial home.

In a fury, he got his delivery driver to take him home to Chiltern Park condominium in Serangoon Avenue 3.

There, he took over the wheel.

'I opened the back of the vehicle and there was a bottle of whisky. How much I drank I don't know; I just needed to settle my problem,' he said.

He ended up punching a security guard, crashing his lorry into another van, and threatening three young people who came to the aid of the guard.

When asked about how his marriage had been up to the point he discovered the infidelity, he said tersely: 'We were happy.

'But I don't want to see her any more.'

1 comment:

Chris said...

I can totally understand the guys anger and reaction and am sure many people would feel the same. Bad enough he stole your wife and fathered your child but to then find out he gave you a kidney. Maybe he should have been thankful, but I know I would have been just as angry as he was. Talk about adding insult to injury big time.