'So tiring' to be friends with Singaporeans, says French woman

Amandine Honvault got lots of responses to her cheeky video.
SCREENGRAB: NEWTOSINGAPORE/TIKTOK

Sep 1, 2025

"Their expectations are unmatched," says the woman, tongue in cheek.

Street survey reveals S'porean men more likely to pick Wi-Fi over their wiv

By Team HardwareZone

10 Jan 2024

PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES

In a Kiss92 street survey conducted by The Big Show radio duo Glenn Ong and The Flying Dutchman (FD), it appears that the majority of Singaporean men would indeed give up their wives for Wi-Fi access.


“Wi-Fi”, says the first male participant they interviewed, without missing a beat, while holding hands with his wife of three months. “I hope you make it to six,” quips FD to the couple.

The Deers of Nara and the true Masters of Nara (it's not the deers).

[Was surprised to see this news!]

Deer bites to tourists prompt Japan park to issue feeding tips

April 3, 2018
(Mainichi Japan)

NARA, Japan (Kyodo) -- Nara Park in western Japan began offering tips Tuesday on how to safely feed wild deer inhabiting the park amid a growing number of foreigners reporting getting injured by the animals.

The 660-hectare park encompassing the famous Todaiji Temple and Kasugataisha Shrine has been a major tourist attraction as visitors can give special crackers to over 1,000 deer on the premises.

But its popularity has led to a record 180 injury reports in fiscal 2017, with 138 of them involving foreigners, including a number of Chinese, according to the park.

Hot dog issue has made Malaysia famous for the wrong reason: The Star columnist

May 18, 2017

Wong Chun Wai


PETALING JAYA (THE STAR/ASIA NEWS NETWORK) - Looks like the monsoon season is starting soon. That is when it starts to rain cats and dogs. No, these animals will not fall from the skies, but it is best that Malaysians are well-prepared for the floods.

The authorities, we are very sure, will not let anyone be confused. Personnel from the Civil Defence Force and Fire Department are already on standby to face the wettest month of the year.

According to one report, tourists will almost certainly experience thunderstorms and floods - they have been predicted to take place on 83 per cent of the 25 days with rainfall. Light rain may also occur but is rare, being observed on only 11 per cent of those days.

This means our rescue teams can be expected to work really hard and as one will say - work like a dog.

Corporate guff scales new heights

LUCY KELLAWAY
TODAY ONLINE
JANUARY 11, 2017

Every January for the past decade, I have handed out awards for the horrible use of language in business. Usually, the task amuses me. This year, I have found the sheer weight of euphemism, grammatical infelicity, disingenuity and downright ugliness so lowering, I have decided to start the 2016 Golden Flannel Awards with something more uplifting: A prize for clarity.

I am calling this the Wan Long prize, after the Chinese meat magnate who once uttered the clearest sentence ever spoken by a CEO: “What I do is kill pigs and sell meat.”

Mr Wan will surely approve of my winner, a BNSF railway executive who told a conference: “We move stuff from one place to another.”

This elegant, informative and borderline beautiful sentence is a reminder that despite the horrific nature of the following entries, clarity remains attainable.

'I find Singaporeans a cynical lot': Grandmother of Goondus Sylvia Toh

"People no longer believe. Their first stance is combative. Like 'Oh, they're giving us S$10. Tomorrow, they will tax us S$11.' That is the first thing they think instead of thinking: 'I think I'll go and spend S$9,'" columnist and writer Sylvia Toh Paik Choo tells 938LIVE’s Bharati Jagdish.

By Bharati Jagdish, 938LIVE 

13 Feb 2016 

SINGAPORE: Columnist and writer Sylvia Toh Paik Choo is known as the Guru of Singlish. She is the author of Eh Goondu! (1982) and Lagi Goondu! (1986), the first two books on Singlish, and is the first to put spelling and punctuation to Singlish. She continues writing on a freelance basis, writing about food, movies and, of course, her brand of humorous social commentary. 

Kickstarting the interview with 938LIVE's On The Record, Ms Toh talked about her own educational history and how she came to be called "the Grandmother of Goondus" in Singapore.

Boneheaded aphorisms from Davos’ windy summit

TODAY

Lucy Kellaway

February 3, 2016


You can always go faster than you think you can. Those are not my words. They are the words of Ms Meg Whitman, Hewlett-Packard Enterprise chief executive, who said them about two weeks ago at the Davos, where they were duly jotted down and published in a collection of quotes from world leaders during their week in the snow.

I admire the Whitman aphorism for its simple syntax and nice short words.

The only trouble with it is that it’s nonsense. Often in business you can’t go nearly as fast as you fondly think you can. When you try, you fall on your face — and Ms Whitman, of all people, should know that.

If her predecessor at HP hadn’t been quite so hasty in buying Autonomy, it would have saved itself a big mess.

The 35 other quotes are almost all as dismal; variously moronic (“The fourth industrial revolution should be a revolution of values”), silly (“Let’s put our optimism goggles on”) or empty (“We are not the prisoners of a predetermined future”).

When I first read the collection I thought it was a spoof. Then I thought the quotes were real, but selected maliciously to make the speakers look foolish. I now discover they were specifically picked by the World Economic Forum not as the stupidest things famous people said at Davos 2016, but as the smartest.

Calvin & Hobbes - When the world was black and white

One of my favourite Calvin & Hobbes strip.

The father (and so by extension, Bill Watterson) is a lying genius! Try to debunk his theory of the Black and White World.

Also, in case you didn't know, the Earth is Flat. They have evidence.

Middle-aged men get scant respect

[Feeling my age, and wanting people to know it. A page from the past.]

From SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2012

Oct 28, 2012

To society at large, to be middle-aged is to be pot-bellied, insecure and creepy

By John Lui


One day, I woke up and found myself a middle- aged man. I did not plan to be middle-aged; I did not take classes for it, nor did I have to buy special clothes for the occasion.

It just happened.

My life transformed in Japan

Feb 03, 2013

By Fiona Chan


Two months ago, I quit my banking job, packed up my life in Singapore and moved to Japan.

Rebutting the President

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/albert-brooks/presidential-rebuttals-th_b_910405.html

I don't remember growing up seeing the president of the United States being rebutted each time he gave a speech. When did this become part of our democracy? Isn't the whole point of winning the office of president that you can talk to the nation without others talking after you, belittling what you say and giving their own point of view? I began to think of some of the great presidential moments and what their rebuttals might have sounded like, had they been allowed at the time.

Franklin Roosevelt: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Henry Rainey, speaker of the House, giving his rebuttal: "The president has obviously not taken a walk around Washington for quite some time. With all the thugs and the crime and the poverty which he is not addressing, we now must fear every individual that approaches us on the street. Fear is the last thing I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of the president and his inability to act."

John F. Kennedy: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." 

Sam Rayburn, speaker of the House, his rebuttal: "The president is afraid to ask his country to help him because he knows he has bankrupted the nation we live in and our great land can no longer take care of us. Countries are meant to help their citizens. To ask how you can help your country is putting unnecessary burden on yourself and your family. If President Kennedy would run a better ship that ship could take us anywhere."

Abraham Lincoln: "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time." 

Schuyler Colfax, speaker of the House, in his rebuttal: "Mr. President, the fact that you are even thinking about fooling people suggests your presidency is a sham. A true president does not want to fool anyone. He trusts his constituency and treats them with respect. He does not idle away the time wondering who he can fool. You should be ashamed."

Ronald Reagan: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."

Tip O'Neil, speaker of the House, from his speech following the president: "Is Ronald Reagan really asking the Soviets to do the work that the United States should have been doing for decades? That is the problem with this country. We have to ask our enemy to do the heavy lifting. Can we not tear down this wall ourselves? The America I grew up in certainly could have, and I would like to return us to that era. What are we going to ask the Soviets to do next, cook us our dinner?"

He's in the army...but she has the backpack

Mar 28, 2011 Photo posted on Net triggers debate about 'soft' and 'spoilt' youth

Most netizens who saw this photo were critical of the soldier. But there were some who gave him the benefit of the doubt, suggesting that he might have been injured. -- PHOTO: STOMP

[He seems to be texting, ipodding, or PSP-ing, or variations thereof.]

Naked aunty boards bus at Bedok

Asia One 16 Dec 2010

ARE we becoming a nudist colony? Early this week, a man strutted stark naked into a McDonald's at Queensway to order a cup of coffee.

Just yesterday, a woman paraded in public in all her butt-naked glory - and even boarded a bus in broad daylight.

Witnesses who were present at Bedok told Lianhe Wanbao that they saw a middle-aged woman taking off her clothes piece by piece as she was approaching a bus stop along Bedok Ave 1 on Wednesday evening.

The woman was first spotted at Block 302. While making her way to a bus stop in the rain, witnesses said she stopped halfway, put her bag down on the ground and took off every single piece of clothing she had on her.

The Chinese evening daily reported that the bus stop was crowded at that point in time as well and her jaw-dropping stint caused many to stare at her in disbelief.

The woman continued to walk to the bus stop, as if nothing had happened.

Five minutes later, bus service number 22 approached and witnesses said she casually strolled through the crowd to board the bus.

Upon seeing the naked woman boarding the bus, the driver immediately closed all the doors and called the police.

While waiting for the authorities to arrive, the driver went into an "emergency" mode and instructed all male passengers to move to the front half of the bus.

He then instructed the naked woman to move to the back of the bus and positioned the female passengers around her.

One of them even took off her jacket and offered it to the naked woman, who was led away by the police when they arrived at the scene.

The episode lasted for about 45 minutes.

[I thought the bus driver was remarkably pro-active. I wonder if he's from China. :-) ]

A complaint about complainers

Dec 10, 2010

by Tabitha Wang

Okay, I want to know who took American author Dan Buettner around when he visited Singapore. Whoever it was, the Singapore Tourism Board should hunt them and offer them a job.

They must have done one heck of a great job selling the Lion City to Buettner for him to conclude that it is the happiest place in Asia in his new book, Thrive, Finding Happiness The Blue Zones Way.

Yes, Singapore. Not even Bhutan, famously known for its Gross National Happiness index.

Buettner says Singapore has all it takes for happiness: Tolerance, status equality, security, trust, access to recreation and financial security.

He based his findings on interviews with Singaporeans from all walks of life - from Community Chest chairman Jennie Chua to housewife Noridah Yusoh.

I don't doubt that his interviewees told him they were happy. But are Singaporeans really happy people?

Just look at all those letters of complaint in the newspapers. Just take a peek at the posts in blogs and responses to online news. These are not exactly all sweetness and light, are they?

I remember once complimenting a store manager about how well her shop was run. She said: "Can you put it down in writing in our feedback slip?"

Apparently, if people were satisfied, they never bothered to fill the slip. But if something annoying were to happen, no matter how infinitely minor, you can be sure those feedback forms would be filled, even posted if necessary.

I think Singaporeans are never happy unless we have something to be unhappy about. Our slogan should be: We moan, therefore we bond.

Try asking a Singaporean: "So how's business/your children/your work/your family?"

The answer is invariably: "Okay lah, can be better."

Coffeeshop talk is never about how wonderful life is. It's always about how badly a chosen English Premiership team is doing, how much money one has lost playing 4D, how the "gahmen" should be doing this, that or the other ...

Nothing can make us happy. If property prices are low, we fret about going into negative equity and how we may never have enough money to retire on. If property price are high, we complain we can't buy a roof over our heads or can't afford that investment home.

If we have a job, we complain about how we're overworked and underpaid. But lose our jobs and we moan even louder.

We have security in the form of low crime rates but still whine that the police can do more. We have access to recreation but grumble that the facilities are not up to scratch.

Maybe it's because there's some superstitious Asian bit of us that never likes to admit how well things are going in case some malevolent spirits take notice and decide to cause mischief.

Or perhaps we, like Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, are worried about being too happy because, as he told Buettner: "Then I would be complacent, flabby, and walk into the sunset."

Looking at the blurb for Thrive in Amazon.com, though, I think I have found why Singapore is considered the happiest place in Asia.

It states: "According to Buettner's advisory team, the average person can control about 40 per cent of his or her individual happiness by optimising life choices. They fall into three categories that make up the way we live our lives: The food we eat, the way we exercise, and the social networks we foster."

So simple. It's food.

I'm not sure about the exercise and social network bit but we've always enjoyed our food. For sure, finding the ultimate char kway teow or chicken rice puts me in a good mood for days.

Maybe life's happiness can really be as simple as that.

Tabitha Wang will see you at the kopitiam. You can complain about anything all you like as long as you buy her a fluffy prata telur bawang.

Motorist nabbed by same cop halfway around the world

Dec 8, 2010

WELLINGTON - A MOTORIST caught speeding in London two years ago moved to New Zealand only to be booked by the same police officer for again exceeding the limit, reports said on Wednesday.

Former London bobby Andy Flitton ticketed the man in Britain two years ago, shortly before migrating to New Zealand - then caught him again in September on a highway in the South Island, the New Zealand Herald reported.

Mr Flitton, who now works for the New Zealand traffic police, said he had forgotten about the original booking until the man approached him while he was writing out the ticket.

'He asked if I had worked in London, I said 'yes'. He asked if I used to operate the laser gun on the A5 in North London, I said 'yes',' Mr Flitton told the newspaper.

'And he said 'I thought it was you, you gave me my last speeding ticket there two years ago'.' Mr Flitton said the man told him he had moved to New Zealand two weeks before his latest booking, unaware his nemesis was also in the same country.

'We must have some sort of connection,' he said. 'He only ever broke the law twice and both times I was the one to give him a ticket... it just shows what a small world it really is.' -- AFP

Woman now 'owns' the Sun

Nov 27, 2010

SPANISH WOMAN REGISTERS SUN AS PROPERTY

MADRID - AFTER billions of years the Sun finally has an owner - a woman from Spain's soggy region of Galicia said on Friday she had registered the star at a local notary public as being her property.

Ms Angeles Duran, 49, told the online edition of daily El Mundo she took the step in September after reading about an American man who had registered himself as the owner of the moon and most planets in our Solar System.

There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it says nothing about individuals, she added.

'There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law. I did it but anyone else could have done it, it simply occurred to me first.'

The document issued by the notary public declares Ms Duran to be the 'owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000km'.

Ms Duran, who lives in the town of Salvaterra do Mino, said she now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 per cent to the nation's pension fund. She would dedicate another 10 per cent to research, another 10 per cent to ending world hunger - and would keep the remaining 10 per cent herself. -- AFP

Copyright © 2010 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved.

[Ha! Stupid woman. Now when communications are adversely affected by solar flares, she can be sued. When people get sun-burned, they can sue her. Alternatively, Singaporeans can refuse to pay her and request that she turn off the sun every few days to cool our little island down. And if she doesn't turn off the sun on those days, we can sue for trespass. And if we want sun for say parades or other national events, sports events, we can sue if it doesn't shine. ]

No joke, US satirists are turning serious

Oct 3, 2010

By Tracy Quek , US Correspondent

Washington - They make a living poking fun at the absurdities of American politics, lampooning politicians of all stripes and skewering the news media.

But recently, two of cable television's sharpest satirists and most visible political comedians have viewers wondering if they are suddenly turning serious.

Comedy Central's top liberal wits Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are leading a pair of rallies in Washington on Oct 30, three days before the mid-term legislative elections. The event is expected to draw hordes of the duo's young, left-leaning fans.

Separately last month , Mr Colbert, host of The Colbert Report, testified in front of Congress on the politically sensitive immigration reform issue and spoke up for illegal immigrants working on United States farms.

Their engagements have spawned reams of analysis on whether the comics, in between delivering punchlines, are also wading into the realm of political activism. Commentators are also debating the larger issue of whether in this age of the 24-hour news cycle the distinction between entertainment and politics has all but disappeared.

'Comedians are driving the political debate this year,' columnist and author John Avlon wrote in political news website The Daily Beast. 'Consider it a sign of the times - laughter and satire is the only sane response to the sickening spin cycle we're subjected to on a daily basis.'

Experts The Sunday Times spoke too agreed, noting that humour is what makes the edgy comedians so influential in an environment currently dominated by polarised and angry rhetoric.

But their appeal 'is not only because they tell jokes. They also make very sharp, serious political points and observations', said Mr Jason Easley, founder and chief editor of news and commentary website politicususa.com.

Mr Stewart and Mr Colbert spare neither Democrat nor Republican, left-leaning nor conservative news networks when it comes to getting a laugh, and 'are able through their satirical comedy to hold politicians and the media accountable for things they say and do. They are watchdogs in a way', Mr Easley added.

The comics have a huge following among the 20-something and 30-something crowd, who increasingly tune in to them for their daily dose of news and current affairs. Tellingly, Mr Stewart was named the 'most trusted man in news' by a Time magazine online poll last year.

Both comedians have disclaimed any interest in participating in electoral politics. But the timing, message and potentially huge turnout of loyal fans to their rallies imbue the event with political significance.

The purpose of his 'Rally to Restore Sanity', Mr Stewart has said, is to provide a civil alternative to a vocal minority - the 15 per cent or 20 per cent of Americans - who have dominated the national political discourse with their extreme views and rhetoric.

'We're looking for the people who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive and terrible for your throat,' the rally site - www.rallytorestoresanity.com - reads.

Many see the event as a satirical response to the conservative Tea Party movement, and a riposte to a rally organised by right-wing TV host Glenn Beck last month in the US capital.

Just as the Tea Party movement and Mr Beck's 'Restoring Honour' rally drew a huge conservative crowd, Mr Stewart and Mr Colbert's event is expected to attract thousands of young, liberal viewers.

This fan base is the crucial demographic President Barack Obama and Democrats hope will come out to vote during the mid-term elections and help prevent a Republican takeover in Congress.

Some Democratic strategists fret that the comedians' rallies will distract from the real campaigning just days before the mid-term polls. But others argue that it is just the jolt that will re-energise jaded Democratic voters at the last minute.

Mr Obama seems to think it would do no harm. Last week, he lauded Mr Stewart's rally, saying it was important that the voices of ordinary Americans, who expect common sense and courtesy in their daily lives, be heard.

Mr Stewart and Mr Colbert are just continuing in a long tradition of American entertainers using their celebrity to attract attention to causes or issues they believe in strongly, said Professor Michael Freedman of George Washington University's school of media and public affairs.

But are the Comedy Central stars and others like them making the jump from entertainment to serious politics?

'They do only if allowed to in other people's minds,' said Prof Freedman. 'But if we have what should be civilised, serious discussions about issues on news shows turn into comedy shows, then why should anyone mind if a comedy show raises important, serious issues?'

It appears Mr Stewart's and Mr Colbert's fans do not mind at all.

According to the event's Facebook page, at the end of last week more than 180,000 people had signed up to 'Restore Sanity'' in the nation's capital.

tracyq@sph.com.sg

Woman turns deaf after kiss

Dec 8, 2008

SHANGHAI - A PASSIONATE kiss ruptured a young woman's eardrum in southern China, state media reported on Monday, in what has been dubbed the 'kiss of deaf'.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai city in Guangdong province was treated by hospital doctors after completely losing the hearing in her left ear, the China Daily reported, citing the Guangzhou Daily.

'The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear,' the treating doctor, surnamed Li, was quoted as saying, adding the woman's hearing would likely recover in about two months.

The incident prompted newspapers to dispense kissing safety advice.

While kissing is normally very safe, doctors urge people to proceed with caution, the China Daily reported.

'A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in air pressure between the two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum,' said the English-language Shanghai Daily in a story headlined 'Kiss of deaf'. -- AFP

[This is just silly. What was the guy trying to do? suck out her lungs?]

Nagging wife behind lottery win

Dec 9, 2008

WELLINGTON (New Zealand) - A 'nagging' wife who pushed her husband to buy a lottery ticket helped scoop the NZ$7.7 million (S$6.34 million) first prize - with only minutes to spare.

The man from New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland, bought his ticket just two minutes before ticket sales closed on Saturday night.

'My wife had been nagging me all week to get a ticket, so I when saw the Lotto sign ... I sprinted in to get the ticket before they closed,' said the man, who asked not to be identified - normal practice among lottery winners in New Zealand .

'I must have been their last customer of the night,' he said, adding that the young married couple had had a 'rough' couple of years, reduced to one income after having children.

'I have never been so glad to listen to my wife's nagging,' the man said Tuesday.

He discovered their newly won fortune on Sunday thanks to his wife's request for a barbecued sausage.

Out shopping for bargains, the man said he didn't have enough money to buy his wife the sausage she'd asked him for. So he decided to check his Saturday lottery ticket in case he'd won a small prize.

'I could not believe it when they said I was actually the big winner,' he said.

When he showed the printout to his wife, she initially thought they had NZ$7,700.

'When she realised how much it really was, she fell to the floor, and then said: 'but all I wanted was a sausage.'' -- AP

[New Zealanders... they're so funny! "All I wanted was a sausage"!

Or this is the classic tale of the nagging wife. "I ask for a sausge and you bring me back the winning lottery ticket? What's the matter with you? Can I eat the lottery ticket?"]

140kg accused killer in US complains jail doesn't feed him enough

April 28, 2008

BENTONVILLE (Arkansas) - AN INMATE awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 45kg because of the jailhouse menu.

Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 140kg after eight months in the Benton County jail.

He has filed a federal lawsuit complaining the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food.

According to the suit, Laswell weighed 187kg when he was jailed in September. Police say he and a co-defendant fatally beat and stabbed a man, then set his home on fire.

'On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out,' Laswell wrote in his complaint. 'About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again.'

But Laswell then goes on to complain that he undertakes little vigorous activity.

'If we are in a small pod all day (and) do next to nothing for physical exercise, we should not lose weight,' the suit says. 'The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally being starved to death.'

The suit also asks that the county be ordered to serve hot meals.

The jail has served only cold food for years.

The meals, provided through Aramark Correctional Institution Services, average 3,000 calories a day, jail Capt. Hunter Petray told The Morning News of northwest Arkansas for a story on Saturday.

A typical Western diet consists of 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day.

Laswell's suit was filed without a lawyer in US District Court in Fayetteville. -- AP